Nebraska Musings

Well, it is official. Today someone asked me where I was from and I told them "Nebraska". Jeez, That was quick! I have been here all of 40 days and I have already traded in my right to say I am from WI and MN .

I think in the end it is just way easier to tell people I am from Omaha. Especially when talking to prefect strangers. No one cares what my back story is, so why waste my time and theirs?  Yes, just easier.

Anyway, it always amazes me that you can find something in common with literally everyone. My waitress in Mitchell, SD today said she had recently re-started the Insanity program and was on day two. Really? Me too! The guy at the event yesterday rock climbs! Really? Me too! There is some way to connect with everyone, you just have to take the time to discover it.

And so ends my less than insightful musings for the day. #wordvomit

On Becoming Fearless

“It's about a girl who is on the cusp of becoming someone.. A girl who may not know what she wants right now, and she may not know who she is right now, but who deserves the chance to find out.”

 

This past year has been one of great lessons, growth and self discovery in all things life, work and love. I can honestly say that I have learned more in the one year I have been in the "working world" than I ever did in college. I have learned more about what I like, what I don't like and the type of life I want to live and the type of person I want to live it with. And in my mind, that's all we can hope for. To keep making sure that each successive year is better than the last and that we're leading the life, making the memories, having the impact and leaving a legacy we would be proud to tell our future children of.

"You only live once, but if you do it right, once is enough.”

This has become a renewed focus for me. In the past year I started a new chapter of my life and when I read the first draft of my first chapter, I didn't like the story I read. It read a little like this, "Young college graduate gets a stellar job, throws herself into work, neglects friendships, loses any sort of interests outside of work, and loses herself in a relationship."

Don't get me wrong, in the past year I have loved and I have lost, I have laughed and I have cried, and I have discovered passions and things I detest. I have said good-bye to old friend and made new friends, and said good-bye to loved ones and welcomed new ones into the world. But all of these experiences and all of these lessons had me looking for more, something was missing, some part of me was asleep, scared, absent. In my search for this part of me after a recent breakup I discovered a book. This book had some great messages, and I would like to take the time to share them with you in a hope that you may find them enlightening as well.

How Fear Limits Us (Women)

I have forever worried too much about what other people have thought, how I would be perceived, if I would be good enough, and being the peace keeper in a broken family. And a lot of my insecurities stemmed from my lack of confidence and for wanting to please the male figures in my life: a strong-handed father, a vocal and iron-gripped coach, strong male teachers or bosses. This book has helped me to identify the "why" so I can recognize when I am doing it and the "how" so I can overcome the obstacles to live a more fearless life.

The "Why"

"... there are many other times we sacrifice our personal truth to go along, be approved of, or just plain be "nice." Because despite all our advances, there's still a huge premium on women being "accommodating" and "team players" who don't "rock the boat.""

"To prevent others from shutting us down, we do it for them. Trapped by our own fears, we then pretend that we're incapable of having what we want, forever waiting for others to give us permission to start living."

Understanding and Accepting the Fear: Fearlessness is about getting up one more time than we fall down. The more comfortable we are with the possibility of falling down, the less worried we are of what people will think if and when we do, the less judgemental of ourselves we are every time we make a mistake, the more fearless we will be and the easier our journey will become.

So "Step 1" is understanding why I fear the things I do. Society has raised us to be the peace keepers, the accommodating ones, the meek and the mild while the men steam roll ahead and are praised for their brazen ways. The deep seeded fear of being left out, the animalistic fear that survival will be impossible outside the tribe has led us to be forever waiting for others (men) to give us the permission to start living and start living fearlessly.

"Step 2" is accepting and acknowledging the fear, and deciding to live life fearlessly anyway. So, I accept and acknowledge that I will fall down, that I will make mistakes, and that I will not be able to be perfect at everything. But by acknowledging it I am free to live, and to try and to fall fearlessly. And this is a step in the right direction.

Think you have it all figured out?

Have you ever thought you had it all figured out? Thought you knew what you wanted? And once you have it you decide its not at all what you wanted? Yeah, me either.

The Motions

I was listening to the radio the other day and a song came on that I had never heard before... and it really spoke to me. I need to share it with you.

Do you ever ask yourself, "What am I passionate about?" Do I live my passion, do I give every day 100% of myself and my abilities?

We all should.

What would it be like if we really gave everything...?

This might hurt, it's not safe

But I know that I've gotta make a change

I don't care if I break,

At least I'll be feeling something

'Cause just okay is not enough

Help me fight through the nothingness of life

I don't wanna go through the motions

I don't wanna go one more day

without Your all consuming passion inside of me

I don't wanna spend my whole life asking,

"What if I had given everything,

instead of going through the motions?"

No regrets, not this time

I'm gonna let my heart defeat my mind

Let Your love make me whole

I think I'm finally feeling something

'Cause just okay is not enough

Help me fight through the nothingness of this life

 

'Cause I don't wanna go through the motions

I don't wanna go one more day

without Your all consuming passion inside of me

I don't wanna spend my whole life asking,

"What if I had given everything,

instead of going through the motions?"

Take me all the way (take me all the way)

take me all the way ('cause I don't wanna go through the motions)

take me all the way (I know I'm finally feeling something real)

take me all the way

I don't wanna go through the motions

I don't wanna go one more day

without Your all consuming passion inside of me

I don't wanna spend my whole life asking,

"What if I had given everything,

instead of going through the motions?"

I don't wanna go through the motions

The Motions. Matthew West

Leave the Light On

It has been a long time. For a lot of things... A long time since I've posted, a long time since I've been home, a long time since I've taken the time to just slow down, take a deep breath, and just be.

So, I really want to write something smart, insightful, meaningful... something worthy of your time... but nothing is coming to me. And maybe that's why I've stopped writing. I don't know what to say. I don't have time to gather my thoughts, to think, to plan.

So I guess here's a short update of what I've been up to since July:

-Work trip to Nashville was exhausting by rewarding.
 

-Went on a work trip to Sturgis where I a ton about the motorcycle industry and history...


-I have been with a great guy officially for 9 months


-I love my job, my co-workers, and motorcycles

-I am finally a motorcyclist! Officially a biker babe! ;)


-Hiking excursion with Erika & Adam at Interstate State Park
 

-Camping on the Northshore


Finally got a pair of these:


And I will be completing my second ever half-marathon in just a few weeks.

Stay posted... hopefully for something insightful or for some inspiration.

Where has the summer gone??

OMG! Summer is half over already? Where did the summer go... I blinked my eyes and its the last week of July?

MN decided to be terribly hot and humid, so I'm going to keep this ULTRA short. Here is what I've been up to...

-I work for Victory Motorcycles. I love motorcycles... I want one.

-Soccer league on Wednesday nights

-Eric's family from Alaska and Pennsylvania were in town all of June... so we spent a lot of time going back and forth from St. Cloud.

-Kevin Utz got married... so happy for him!

-I am heading to Nashville for a week-long work trip... EXCITED!

-I signed up for a half marathon in October.

-Moving to uptown!

-Its harder to keep up with friends when you don't see them every day...

Well, that's all I have the energy for to write. Nothing inspiring, but maybe I will come up with something at the end of summer when it has cooled down a little bit. :)

Working for [the man]

That's right. It's official. I am officially official at Polaris! [and I'm loving it!]. Despite my horrible nerves for my first day, my first few days have reassured me that I made the right choice, the best choice, and that I found a home. I am going to keep this short [because MN decided to be 100+ degrees today and even typing is exhausting] but let me tell you, it has been a long time since I have been this happy, this busy, this productive, this happy.