"The only real mistake is the one from which we learn nothing."

We all make mistakes. Some big, some small; some are deal breakers, but most are forgiven. How do you know how much repenting is required to atone your mistakes?

I have grown up forgiving readily and easily and apologizing quickly... I hate having people mad at me, and I equally dislike being upset with other people. I wear my heart on my sleeve, and will go to all lengths to make amends. For, in my life, having relationships or friendships that are out of balance is one of the worst tortures. I have always been the peace-maker in my family, so maybe that's where my yearning for harmony comes from.

But this is not the case for everyone, and this I have learned first-hand this weekend. I will not get into the details, but while intoxicated, I did some things to upset my boyfriend and my roommates. Though I agree that intoxication is never a valid excuse, I have no recollection of even doing said things. So in an attempt to make amends, I apologized to everyone multiple times, and cleaned the mess that was made. I thought this for sure would ease the tension and restore balance in the house. But I was wrong. I still feel like an outsider in my own house and am ignored by my own roommates. What more can I possibly do? I can't take it back, so all I can do is continue to apologize and promise it won't happen again. Hopefully this will all blow over soon. :(

Forgiveness is the fragrance that the violet sheds on the heel that has crushed it" ~Mark Twain

Chi Running

I love running. Its not only a great workout, but a great way to clear your mind, not worry about your to-do list, and escape the mundane of everyday. But guess what, my knees hate that I love to run. They complain the whole way and throw a tantrum when I am done. Bayer Aspirin and I have gotten to know each other pretty well over the past few months, and that's a friendship I would like to discontinue!

 Last weekend I went to Midwest Mountaineering for the Minimalist Footwear Class. They talked about barefoot running Five Fingers shoes and chi running. It was encouraging to know that many people with chronic running injuries have over-come them and continued running well into older age by converting to Chi Running form. So I figured, what the heck, let's give it a shot.

I am in the process of ordering the book and instructional DVD... and if those aren't enough, I plan to sign up for a class with a professional instructor. For now, my Internet research will have to suffice. So far, my attempts at mid-foot striking have been successful. My knees no longer scream in protest and my distances have increased drastically without much effort. However, the transformation is a slow one. My calves and Achilles tendon have definitely been worked harder then normal, and I had to take a day-off yesterday. At the class, I was warned about pushing myself to hard, too fast and being prone to injury. Chi Running depends on using and strengthening muscles that are not relied on in typical heel-striking running form, so I'm trying to ease into it.

Overall, I hope to be up and running and full speed and full strength by June so I can participate in my first half-marathon since Spain! (Minneapolis Marathon). Well, I am at work, so I should probably actually do some work! Happy trails, and Happy Friday!

What's your favorite thing about running?

Have you ever been injured from running?

What's your running goal?

The tassel's worth the hassle!

Graduation. Finishing college... Becoming an adult. Starting my career, shaping my life. This is a weird time, a time of transitions, a time of uncertainties, doubts, fears and opportunities. Everyone always tells you, "Go confidently in the direction of your dreams. Live the life you have imagined." But what if I don't know what that means? I haven't imagined my life past college. My life, until this point, has been school. Work hard in high school to get into a good college. Work hard in college to get an internship and graduate with job opportunities.

I have been working hard my whole life to get to this point, and now that it is approaching, I feel lost and adrift. What do I do now? What are my goals? What do I work for now? Just to move up some corporate ladder, move to the suburbs and start a family. ZZZZZzzzz. Does that sound boring and limiting to anyone else?

Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,
And sorry I could not travel both,
And be one traveler, long I stood,
And looked down one as far as I could,
To where it bent in the undergrowth,

As I look at my life, post-graduation, I can see many possible paths, choices I will make that will shape my life. I can see myself falling easily into the corporate world where you work to get ahead financially, measure success by the money you are earning or the number of promotions you've gotten, and falling into the lifestyle my parents had, and have always wanted me to have.

OR, I can see me dreading that, avoiding that like the plague. Running away from "responsibilities" and conventional opportunities. Starting fresh, starting somewhere new.

And both that morning equally lay
In leaves no step had trodden black.
Oh, I kept the first for another day!
Yet knowing how way leads on to way,
I doubted if I should ever come back.

But I have chosen one path. Starting at a company, as planned, and going the conventional route. Maybe I will save the adventures for another day, but I doubt I will ever act. It only gets harder, as you get older, with more responsibilities, and more people that depend on you, to break away and try to live the life you've always wanted.

I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence;
Two roads diverged in a wood and I-
Took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.

I just hope that when I look back one day (unlike in the poem), I can look back and say that I took the path most traveled by, and it has made ALL the difference.

Must have been the altitude

I am back from spring break and I am feeling refreshed, rested and trapped. You may be wondering how those three words fit together... refreshed and rested (makes sense), but trapped? Well, let me explain.

I spent the second half of my spring break in Boulder, CO, visiting my friend Christie. It wasn't only that I had no responsibilities and had the whole day to do what I like, but being there just made be feel free. With the mountains just a short bike ride away, endless paths and bike trails, and 75 degrees in March, Boulder is an amazing place to live. The scenery just cries out for you to explore it, and the residents are laid back and respect the environment. The kids at the business school don't worry about wearing 'business casual' everyday, and almost everyone rides a bike to class. Boulder has a small-town feel with an abundance of local small-businesses.

Overall, I think it was the relaxed pace and the easy-going demeanor of the city that reeled me in the most. People could be seen everyday (even during the week), out enjoying the weather and making the most of the awesome place they call home. Fitness isn't a second thought, but rather a way of life; this is the kind of place I would like to live.

I contrast that with, the hustling and bustling metropolis of the Minne-apple, and I yearn to go back out west. Don't get me wrong, I love Minneapolis. It is my home, and has been for 4 years, my friends live here, my job will be here, and family is only a hop-skip-and a jump away. But something about being out west, next to the majesty and awe-inspiring mountains, with outdoor adventures at your finger-tips has changed what I want out of life.

I guess I can't really place what it is, exactly. All I know is, that ever since I was a little girl and we took our first family vacation out west, a little part of me has always wanted to go back and make it my home.

Running & Training

It's been a while since my last post, and its because I've been having trouble pulling myself out of this "senioritis" slump. I don't seem to care about anything, I have no goals, and even little "bumps in the road" seem to get me super down.

So today, while totally wasting time (instead of being productive), I came across my friend Tiara's recently-started blog. She has been logging what days/ when she runs, how many miles and her mile-split times. This seemed like an awesome way to keep yourself accountable and keep track of progress. I know personally, my mile times/ distances can vary hugely with how I am feeling that day, so this method might actually help me regulate it.

So here are my goals/ schedule for this week:

Monday: Hatha Yoga- Rec center- 6:45 AM. (this did not happen due to being in the deepest sleep ever, but I plan on trying again on Wednesday)

Tuesday: Yoga @ 7:30 am. Running at 8pm. (3 miles at an 8:45 pace)

Wednesday: Hatha Yoga... take 2!- 6:45 am.

Thursday: Yoga- 7:30am. Running at 3:45pm. (30 min @ 8:45 pace)

Friday: Yoga (60 min) & biking (60 min)

Saturday- Break

Sunday- Long run

I'll keep you posted about my progress... but really just to keep me accountable!

Senior Slide

The senior slide. According to urban dictionary, this slang's definition is as follows: "That magical part of your senior year when things get a little easier and nothing you do matters."

Now for me, I never thought I would succumb to this phenomena. Slacking just isn't in my nature; I'm an over-achiever to the core. So why, then, do I find myself struggling to do any of the "required" readings... or waiting until 11pm to start a paper that is due the next day?

Senioritis... and freshman level classes. My classes are all 1000 level (aka Beginner level) liberal ed. requirements. Although I do enjoy the challenge of thinking outside of the "Carlson" formula for success, these classes just simply do not have the rigor of the Carlson classes that have consumed my life for the last 4 semesters.

What do you mean not every week has a 100pt exam, 3 presentations, 300 pages of reading and two 5-page papers due? There is only 50 pages of reading, a quiz worth 5 points and flamenco dancing to practice... Who wouldn't take it easy?

The only problem with this is: I feel guilty! Why am I not insanely busy, barely keeping my head above water? Why am I not trying hard in my classes? Why do I end up watching 3 tv shows every-other night? Answer: Because I can. Is this what college is like for other students not in the business school?

How do I cure this sense of guilt? I put my energies into other things. Recently I have started running again with the goal if participating in some up-coming races and a triathlon. I have also decided to try my hand at rock-climbing and bouldering. Next up: Yoga. Who knows what hobby next month may bring...

The Art of Making Time

I believe this motto whole-heartedly. It was one of my goals for 2011, and I have been diligently trying to uphold this mission... the only issue is time. And for that matter, the lack of it. It is not that there is a lack of enough time in the day, but rather the proper allocation of time. Let me explain.

If something is important enough to you, you will make time; no matter what. No exceptions.

Instead of checking my email 30 times daily, or checking facebook 50 times daily, or watching a crappy TV show, I could be allocating my spare time (hours really) to maintaining and nurturing my friendships! And on Wednesday, I did just that.

Wednesday was a busy day from 10am-10pm... not stop running around, and one of the best days I've had in a while. You may be wondering: How can you be so happy when you had no time to relax, no time for yourself? And my answer is simple. I am happiest when I am giving back, helping others, making time for friends, or just being productive in general. The perfect example is Wednesday...

Wednesday started with working from 10am-12pm. Promptly at noon, I ran across the river to meet up with Molly for lunch (we both have the same break from 12-1:15). Molly and I have been roommates for 4 years, but that doesn't mean that we can just ignore our friendship and expect it to take care of itself! Friendships take time, commitment and energy, constant up-keep (no-matter how long you have been friends).

After lunch I had to run back across the river to my Music class. I slid into my seat just as the TA was handing out the quizzes. Class whizzed by, and before I knew it, I was following suit and zooming to my next class (marketing channels). As class drew to a close, I sprinted across the river (again) to Ben & Jerry's to meet Monika for our planned ice cream date. Monika is a girl (recent-grad) who had been in DSP with me. We had almost every class together last semester, and she has been a very loyal friend when I needed her most.

Example 1: last semester when my car was towed, she was the only one to offer to drive me to the impound lot.

Example 2: When I got in a horrible, screaming fight with Molly, she was the only one to answer my phone calls and take me in for the night.

So, needless to say, she is a great friend, one that I don't want to lose just because we've graduated!

At 6:15, I promptly left Monika (with the promises of meeting up for a grown-up date this weekend... one involving drinks instead of ice cream) and ran (back across the river) to my Flamenco dance class. Attendance is mandatory, and necessary if you want to keep up!

After class (7:45pm) I ran to the bus stop, and was home by 8pm. I grabbed Grandma's car keys, and went to pick-up Jordan. We have been friends since she lived next-door to us in the dorms, and also a great friend. She is always there, gives great advice, is non-judgmental, and is always down to try something new. I drove her to Roseville to pick up her recovered hard-drive from Best Buy because she doesn't have a car.

Despite all of the running (literal and the metaphorical representation of being busy), Wednesday was a great day. I was able to spend time with 3 GREAT friends, nurture our friendships, and help a friend in need. Days like this are what keep me going. I love my friends, and I love the art of making time. If it's important, you'll find a way.